Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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