My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
