the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
