Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
