Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
