there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
