Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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