I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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