And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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