never play flip cup with pint glasses
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
