I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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