but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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