my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
