Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
