trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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