i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
