i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
