I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
