if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We left the knife in your bed.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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