Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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