watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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