did you get engaged???
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
