3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
