Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I came so hard my ears popped.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
