Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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