We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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