His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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