the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
