Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
