you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
