You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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