At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
