I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
