She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
