I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
