I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you never un-have a 4some
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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