I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
