what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
