Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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