Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
