It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize