Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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