is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
