I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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