1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize