Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
