I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
