Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize