I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
