Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
