sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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