what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize