Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
