I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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