either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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