mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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