I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
