He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
