remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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