I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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