I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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