Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
