do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
